Why do medical research labs now use lawyers instead of rats?

  • Answer: Because lawyers do things that rats won’t do…. And because lawyers multiply faster than rats.

What is slothful waste?

  • Answer: A busload of lawyers going over a cliff, and there’s one empty seat.

Why don’t immigration lawyers go to the beach?

  • Answer: Cats keep trying to bury them.


The Creature

Regrettably, I know a consummately uncouth and ill-mannered immigration lawyer. He reminds me of a cockroach in a cheap suit. His manner is so churlish, his presence so ignoble, that interacting with him is like suddenly discovering two-month old putrid leftovers in a refrigerator. Picture it. The only reaction is flight. When I’m going to court I keep a fragment of stale bread in my pocket. If I should see him, I fling it into a corner. Then I can get away safely while he scurries off after it on all fours (neat trick, huh?)….


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